Bus From Hell

i came across your blog while doing research for a film treatment i'm writing for a class in documentary screenwriting, naturally i chose to write about muni, because as your blog so eloquently brings to life; crazy shit happens on the san francisco municipal railway. reading through the entries brought back some hilarious/bizzare and disgusting things that i have witnessed on muni. naturally i'm compelled to share....

so this happened about 6 or 7 years ago, we were late to a movie at 1000 van ness so we hopped on the (47? 48? i cant remember the number of the one that runs straight up van ness) anyways, the bus is PACKED, it was rush hour, and that particular line always seems to be kinda dirty because it runs through civic center area, lower market etc. so we are in line to get on and this old homeless lady kinda stumbles down the front stairs, she has a pink "thank you" bag in one hand and is kinda dragging a decrepit walker behind her, as she walks by us to get off we smell THE MOST DISGUSTING SMELL IN THE ENTIRE WORLD...words cannot even express the magnitude of horrible.

assumming it was just a bad smelling semi homeless old woman we ignore it and board the bus. once we step up inside it becomes clear that something is terribly wrong, everyone on the bus is holding their noses, and wincing in disgust. two drunk bums drinking out of paper bags seated in the handicapped seats at the front of the bus are laughing and yelling to whoever will listen: "dont wanna sit there" (pointing to the first row of seats across from them) "lady straight up SHIT HERSELF!" clearly, they are the only 2 people on the bus amused by this, meanwhile, i followed their pointing and my eyes landed on a pile of yellow, runny diarhea sliding around in the row of seats (i'm gagging as i type this.)

the bus driver was clearly distraught, but before there was time for us to get off and wait for the next one, we were pulling away from the curb past city hall and up van ness. to make matters worse we were packed in the bus like sardines, people were burying their faces into strangers shoulders to avoid the smell and sight of the "mess."

"THIS IS THE BUS FROM HELL, next stop freddy kreugars gettin' on!" screamed the homeless man with no teeth in the front of the bus, still eyeing the shit, which had clearly not ruined his appetite for the olde english 40 he was enthusiastically drowning in.

i dont remember how we made it all the way to the movie theater without getting off, and strangley enough most of the other people on the bus endured the ride and didnt get off to wait for the next one...

it wouldnt surprise me if the driver completed the route that day...but i'll always wonder whos job it was to hose that bus down back at the depot. gross.

-claire, san francisco

Staring the bus down.

Bus Transfers etc. etc.

Since I began scavenging for discarded bus transfers I have found a total of:

- $23.50, (2 fives, 1 ten and 3 ones)
- a rhinestone earing,
- a crystal pendant,
- numerous toothbrushes
- a tube of toothpaste (? not with the brushes)
- 2 Nintendo® (the original) video game controllers
- vacuum
- and a child's Spiderman bedtime slipper

This project has opened my eyes. I now have such strong confidence in being able to find just about anything (and more) in this concrete wonderland. All I have to do is look down.

p.s. I did not take the slipper home with me....

Waiting for the BART

...Wow...

Overheard

I overheard a couple of interesting conversations today riding the bus. One on the way to work and one on the way home after my second shift. The stories are a little disjointed but they went something like this:

#5 Fulton -----> Downtown __ 8:50am - A lady in the front of the bus was talking to the driver, "... he died (short pause) he died at his own retirement party. That's why I got outta here... 22 years an I got out. I'm gonna get a shirt made that says, '22 years. I survived MUNI!' .... when I started it was different.. but now there's all these rules / schedules / / / it's pathetic..."

#22 Fillmore ---> Haight __ 8:20pm - An older man with a huge sac on his back, a large guitar case and a cowboy hat climbs onto the bus. He pays and asks the driver how late the bus runs. I could tell from his slight drawl and super tan skin that this man was just passing through, probably lives on the road. He sits and strikes a conversation with a young skater across from him, "Hi how are ya? - - - where ya goin? - - home? oh you work? (boy nods 'it's been a long day') - you work, I hitch hike... yeah I'm on my way to Haight St. whenever I pass through San Francisco I like to go to this place on Haight. A restaurant where there's an area in the back to sit and play my guitar... yeah when I was on the road an' you know who picked me up? Curly Carter Cash... yeah that's right Curly Carter Cash. She's the Daughter of Johnny Cash's wife. Said she saw me on the road an' told her husband to pull over an pick me up..."

The leathery faced man, half hidden by his hat and guitar case smiled ear to ear. He went on talking with the skater about all the places he's been and where he's going.

Discarded Bus Tickets.

I have not had many bus stories lately, but have been adventuring the search for discarded bus transfers for my collage projects. This detail is
part of a large piece that is, for the moment, living at John Sakkis's house.